Dipping out
The chaos before the pause
Attention is a precious commodity, yet I let mine scatter in so many directions.
When I'm stressed I tend to burn the candle on all sides, like those cross-shaped blunts people smoke in the movies (maybe in real life, too). I feel guilty when I realize I’m doing this, as if there is a different way to be.
Summer hasn’t left just yet, and I’m finally used to it. I don’t want to look ahead. I want to stay in the warmth and light and comfort and finally do all the things I said I would months before.
When I’m stressed I tend to go to first principles. I need to know where I stand.
Deductive reasoning begins with a theory that the researcher tests in real life. It’s an idea-based approach, suitable for when you have a hunch and want to find out if it’s provable.
The opposite approach is inductive reasoning, whereby a researcher begins with observations alone. The conclusion emerges from the data collection instead of a pre-existing theory.
Developing a theory first only works for problems that fit within the scope of my own sight. It requires seeing the whole picture, or at least being confident enough to think I do. If a situation gets too large, I cannot contain it within my mind.
How does a creature know that it’s crepuscular? Is it aware that its energy is most vibrant at dawn and dusk?
When I’m stressed, I tend to both over- and under-estimate how long it will take to do even the simplest task. I fall out of sync with my energetic timetables. I forget that I, too, am crepuscular. I come to life at dawn and dusk.
Vertigo can be described as a loss of connection with the ground. A scrambling of the natural order of things, gravity included.
When I’m stressed, it can feel like everything I do is self-directed and will fall to pieces without me.
And yet, that’s not so. My accomplishments are the result of my accountability to others. I am not alone.
As I mentioned earlier this summer, I’m about to take three weeks off from work, vessels included. During that time, I encourage you to check out the other newsletters I recommend, as well as explore the archive. Here are some places to start:
I’ve also lowered the price of a yearly paid subscription to $30 (the lowest Substack will let me go) for the duration of my trip. The reality is that having more subscribers of any kind—free and paid—is crucial to sustaining this project. In terms of what you receive with a paid subscription: I recently paywalled several older posts that discuss my work as a lawyer and plan to write occasional paid-only posts going forward. Please consider subscribing if you want to support my work.
Beyond that, the best thing you can do while I’m gone is help spread the word. Feel free to take screenshots and share them! I’m lefty_jb on Instagram—follow me if you want to see footage from my trip.
I love writing this newsletter and am blown away by the care and attention that you, dear readers, have shown. Every like (♡), comment, and subscription helps.
THANK YOU! I’ll be back in three weeks.
xo, Julia
