Anchorage fall on film
A photo diary
Hello, and welcome. Below is a photo and dream diary from the past month. If you enjoy this, please hit the like button and pass along to a friend.
August 28. I’m exploring my dreams. Entering a phase of re-dedication to inner work.
August 30. An estranged person from my past asks me to move into an apartment with her and her friend. In the dream I asked, why would you want to live with me? Perhaps I just wondered this. I was scared to know. Scared to give up what I have and share space again.
September 2. Slept in while thinking about certain people as catnip. A code for distraction—that which takes me from my life.
September 7. No dreams. Our job is stressful. We need calm minds to find the logical truth.
September 10. Repeatedly woke up questioning everything. Attachment. Attraction. Commitment. Doing the same thing over and over with different people versus exploring new things with one.
September 12. In deep sleep I met a mythical would-be lover who told me they are now in an open relationship. The dream was a bit lewd. We shared a moment and confirmed our reciprocal feelings. The next morning I wanted more for myself. Connection that betters me and sweeps me off of my feet.
September 23. Was in a town I know in real life but here it looked so different. We were a large group trying to order food at a cafe. There was time pressure and the personal dynamics occupied my attention. When we stepped outside I knew we would see mountains but had no idea how close they would be. Right there, towering above us, the peaks glittering with snow in that early season pattern of breaks and contrast that looks like lace.
September 26. Are bad experiments worth it so long as they produce a book?
September 29. A year ago I was trying to be cool at a party and spiraling out. Dressed less for the weather and more for attention, in a layered oversized sweater and utility jeans. Seeking attention gets in the way of what I want.
I was on a sailboat with two other people, one man and one woman, both of whom I seemingly knew in dreamworld. The man and I sat near the back of the boat while the woman sat in front. He and I shared the duty of trimming the front sail. We had to work together to catch the wind just right. I thought to myself, as we held lines attached to our ends of the sail, that we made a good team. The woman at the front of the boat agreed. But when I turned to look at the man, his face was not as I remembered. Not what I thought it would be.
October 1. It’s wild how different it feels to build my own home instead of invading someone else’s. I dreamt that my film came back and it sort of worked. The double exposures didn’t ruin the rest of the roll. I got to see the photos laid out in an aesthetically pleasing design, some larger and some smaller, arranged on a poster board. In the dream I was so happy to hold the film that I didn’t realize I had, in my handling of it, exposed it to light.
October 2. The beauty of film1 as slowness. What happens between taking the photo and sharing it is time to think and reflect. Intention exists there, buzzing behind the scenes. Ideas and schemes.
In my dream the mountains loomed so large I had to crane my neck to see them.
These are gorgeous photographs, Julia.
I like the format also- other worldly which is why. I have too much reality. Your comments read like poetry.