I recently heard Anchorage described as the inverse of Central Park. Just as Central Park attempts wilderness amidst New York’s urbanity, Anchorage attempts urbanity amidst Alaska’s wilderness.
It’s impossible to ignore the natural world while living here. Its tendrils creep in from each side.
*
I am learning that you can always find more of what you need. Sometimes it means looking in different places than you’re used to.
*
What a gift it is to allow ourselves to be surprised.
*
It’s wild to recognize how much power we have after being told for so long we had none. Sometimes we are disliked. Hated, even. There’s power in that, too.
*
Breaking old patterns is vulnerable. It is easier to hide and attempt escape. But to paraphrase the song “So Much Wine,” there will never be enough to save us from the bottom of our glass.
Listen to me, butterfly / There’s only so much wine that you can drink in one life / And it will never be enough / To save you from / The bottom of your glass
Eventually, we unthaw. We wake up and feel the feelings. Usually in the morning, before the world starts. We journal. We make coffee. We clean the litter box and feed the cat.
*
Singing helps. Singing out loud in the car. Singing out loud in the kitchen. Singing out loud in front of friends and strangers at a karaoke bar frequented by Hells Angels.
*
Chasing an avoidant person is another form of escape. Relationships can hurt long after they’ve ended. It’s often the ones we never really had that cause the most pain.
*
We are responsible for keeping ourselves safe. How beautiful, empowering, and straight up cool is that.
*
There are different kinds of annoying. Some people annoy us because we don’t like them. Perhaps we thought we liked them before we knew them, or perhaps we thought we should like them because they seemed like the kind of person we were told we should like.
Other people annoy us because maybe, just maybe, they actually know us. And they say things that reveal parts of us that we don’t always like about ourselves.
Those are the people to keep around. An annoyance that comes from love, or from the vulnerability of being seen, which is part of the same thing.
*
Curiosity is the way of happiness. Each others’ minds are a joy. Trust that there is room for us all.
*
It’s okay if people expect things that we can’t provide. Their disappointment is not our burden. We are learning to accept the consequences of our actions and our inaction both.
*
The hungry beast will always want more. What if we pat it on the head and cuddle with it on the couch. What if its hunger is not ours to satisfy.
*
We have lived so many lives. We are learning to write them down.
*
We are learning to say ‘we are learning to’ instead of ‘we are bad at,’ as beautiful Matthew suggests.
*
We are learning to tell the truth. Even when it hurts. Because it will.
We have lived so many lives, yet here we are. Together but briefly. On the same earth that, as Raybun says, at times looks so different it is hard to believe.
*
Here we are, learning to believe it.
I really enjoyed each of these strands of thought <3
oh, that is such a perf description of Anchorage vs. CP...I'm glad to have come across it. I'll be telling my NY family in a mo...